Physically, its not much different. A few skyscrapers that weren't there on the last trip now block a little more of the horizon, some new billboards plastered on the giant walls of the apartments as I pass by on the freeway, but all in all its the same old place. Mentally, that's where the spark it made. It's a position as foreign to me as I am to this place. I am used to certainty, used to redundancy, used to having my next step figured out days, weeks, even months before I get there. This is not to say I lack spontaneity, it is merely chaos within order. But this time it's different. I now have no real plans, just ideas in my head and a supposed confidence that should power me through any difficult times. Im a bit scared. I don't doubt I'll settle and and enjoy every moment of this experience as the time ticks by, but the first few steps, as with most things, will prove to be a welcomed, yet trying test to a mind that has built itself upon habits.
As for family, this is an interesting period of time for that as well. A little background on the basics; my fathers side is slightly older, with the youngest cousin I have being about 3 years my senior. My moms side, slightly younger, with the oldest cousins (twin boys) being about 10 years my junior. Now age isn't the biggest deal in the world;I have been around young ones all my life, and I consider myself mature enough to hold a conversation with the older crowd just as well as anyone, but it does put me in an awkward place at times. Furthermore, it is a strange feeling, to be a stranger in your own family. Not that any of them would ever say it to my face, but the truth is quite clear. A member of the family who visits for 3 weeks every year or so is just not going to be all too well integrated in the family's day to day life. This is something that with time will go away and is a large part of the reason I decided to spend so much time in Israel.
This week will begin the assimilation process. I will look for an Israeli cell phone, open a bank account, learn the bus routes, and try to meet up with some of my Israeli friends who live in nearby cities.
Oh yeah, and I'll have to start learning Hebrew just a bit better than I know it ....
